Shall make this me primary blog for now, until after As when i will make a food photo blog.
Is it just me, or do most people feel this way? The feeling of uneasiness and discomfort which appears whenever somone close isn't in a good mood. It causes unnecessary stress sometimes, which is why there are so few people out there who can be great listeners. I for one, tend to think too much and end up with undue worries. Maybe i should just listen for the sake of listening and no longer feel too deeply. That way, its saves me the bit of sanity which i lose every so often when i try to make things better... I guess everything has its limits
I just blew my chance by asking for her email. Is it that scary when a guy you have no idea of ask you for your email? Come to think of it, yeah, it is. Maybe i shouldn't bother. The feeling wasn't strong anyway, so it doesn't matter. But this incident just confirmed how difficult it is to befriend someone who barely knows you or you barely know, simply because even a simple innocent message can mean so many things. Another reason why it failed is because the medium of choice was sms, one of the most unsincere froms of communication... I should have just said hi when i had the chance. Too bad she was always with her friends (the crowd which i dare not approach)... Well, if the disaster i created can be saved, i will be so thankful, i swear off dota for the rest of my life. Really :)
The dull pain throbs on...
Macad_rage left silently at ... 11:30 pm
There seems a weight within my heart, it hinders my thoughts and clouds my mind.
It's her i know and yet i know not why.
I wished and wished but wished in vain; nothing, it seems, can free me from my pain.
It was so long ago, but just when i thought the pain was gone and i could start anew, it all came back and hit me - hard. It hurts all the more because i never saw it coming. i thought it was long gone, never to return. The shock is insurmountable i tell you. it stifles you, wrings your brain and churns your thoughts like how your stomach churns food. You end up with some sticky mess that you can't make a head or tail of. So i end up holding this sticky mess while she goes abt her business as if nth has happened. Most unfair i tell you.
And yet i cant forget. yet i cant let go.
Somebody save me.
Anonymous left silently at ... 9:56 pm
As you can tell, I AM VERY VERY PROUD OF IT! And the reason im posting another photo is because it will no longer be mine in a few days, so i better take photos for memory sake, sniff..... Jeff, you better appreciate it or else (Good thing he doesn't read this blog, so the surprise* ain't spoilt yet :p)
No idea why, but i am really really tired. And no, its not because of caffeine and sleep debt blah blah. Its just that thermo dym is killing my brain cells because the stupid notes do not give enough explanations like what the hell exactly is dH? dQ? or dQ + w'? Or TdS +VdP? And is TdS = dQrev, or any dQ? (Apparent in the appendix of the notes) Hey reader, if you know of any professors, or if you are a professor (in this area that is), please please, clarify my doubts. Use the tag board, comments, anything! Im desperate... And yesh, tired tirrd tird, sleepy sleppy slepy, i am....
Grad night, I used up shit loads of saliva to convince pple to go since it is a once in a life time thing... But... hy ain't going.... Damn damn damn..... So not fun one, what to do..... Sigh.... Righto, have fun nonetheless
Hmm, what should my next message be? An innocent "How are you?"? Or not... Damn...
Macad_rage left silently at ... 9:19 pm
Today, is the day, where i surpassed the limit which i never thought was possible, attaining a 51000+ score for Johnny crash texas, placing me on the 9th place in the world ranking of the game! (Must check the website) Cool huh!
Hmm, maybe not,Get a life Jon....
Spent the whole morning making this really cool photo frame. Priceless. So proud of it!
Have people changed? Or is it I who have changed? Or is everything changing? I can't help but feel helpless in a world where humans believe that they control their fate, control the world, when in fact, the role is reversed... I mean, things are happening to people around me, i want to do something about it, but in the end, my efforts are futile and the things just happen. Relationships becoming distant, friends becoming enemies, love becoming hate, and there's nothing i can do about it. I guess there are some things i should not do or say anymore, for they only serve to worsen the things i fear most. For now, lone, seperation and isolation look like the very things i want to embrace...
Sigh...
Macad_rage left silently at ... 8:04 pm
Howz life for now after making that altruistic decision? Fine, just fine. Im ignoring all feelings of love now as they bring about nothing but worries and temporal happiness that goes away so quickly i'm better off without it. It is difficult to shake it off sometimes. Like the one time she msged sthg about not feeling well, i thought it referred to her and got rather worried. Only to realise later on that the msg got cut off and it was referring to some one else instead. Got worried for nothing, no shit... Time, soothe my pain, kill my lust, make me a man without the desire for love, for now. Strengthen my resolve, for i shall live a life of new hope! Yeah, it starts with a wrongly sent msg. Maybe i'll make a new friend out of this innocent mistake. Just maybe...
Alright, this i must definitely blog about. Bridge, no trump. I had 5 cards left, 4 clubs and one spade. The clubs were all winners except for 6 club. AND I PLAYED IT! It was like a random pick, no thought put into it. I don't know what i was thinking, but in the end, we lost terribly, because of the stupid mistake... Next was Heart. Yix told LCY "i gave it to you". I was half listening, thus i did not register its meaning. 5 spade, 6 spade, then it was my turn. I thought i mught as well get rid of my Ace spades, praying LCY didn't have the queen. He did.... AHHHHHH, if only i had listened. The most amazing thing was, I WON THE GAME NONETHELESS, by shooting the moon! How cool is that!
Gtg
Macad_rage left silently at ... 9:30 pm
You know what I can't stand? I can't stand people who are so damn insecure that they frequently put people down just to make themselves look good. Especially when they suck in that particular department but they think they're so damn good. These kind of people are just ignorant bastards who think they're better than anyone else in anything and to assure themselves of that delusion, keep criticizing people and putting them down as if they're an expert in that area. They only know how to talk the talk, but they can't walk the walk. That's right, empty vessels make the most noise, and the person I am talking about is a huge fat empty vessel. You can take that literally too if you know what I mean. If you're so good, show me what you can do, instead of talking bullshit all day without proving your so-called "talent". Bastard. You really showed your true colours today when I challenged you but you backed down like a coward, blowing all that hot air all over the place. You're just a sad loser, it's a pity you don't know it. Ass hole.
It's one thing to criticize a person when you actually are good in that area, but it's another when you have no substance at all, yet you keep putting other people down. I'd like to see you try to better me since you're so confident you can. Actually deep down in your blackened heart you know you can't, that's why you're so afraid of taking me on when I challenged you today. You suck, you know that? I bet it's embarrassing to be you.
This is not the first encounter I've had with this ass hole, and it's not the first ass hole I've encountered. You think I don't know your kind, but your kind spawns all over the place. It's sad, disgraceful and shameful the way you strut around with no substance to back your claims. I don't think you know the meaning of shame.
I'm determined to make this type of encounter with this particular ass hole I'm talking about the last ever. You and your kind can all just go f**k off and die. I hope you read this and die of guilt when you understand all the truth I'm saying and realise what an embarrassment you are to yourself, your name and your family. Oh what am I saying, you probably won't die of guilt because you're so thick-headed nothing can penetrate your damn skull, you're just a damn f**ker who doesn't feel any shame. It's disgraceful and sad.
I could have been your good friend you know? Hell, I've known you for at least four years. All this time, I've seen everyone around you making fun of everything you do. But I guess it doesn't pay to be nice huh? I tried to be nice to you, for four bloody years, but you just took all that and threw it back in my face by doing to me what others did to you. And not just once or twice, but virtually every time you see me. You're such a damn bastard. Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean you can take advantage of me.
You chose to be such a condescending loser-bastard and now you've made me your worst enemy. This encounter this afternoon was the final straw. I've had it, putting up with your nonsense for such a long time. Trust me, I'll be the worst enemy you can ever get. Don't waste my time anymore with your presence and get your ugly mug out of my face. Have a nice life, the kind of life you think is better than everyone else's, but that's just your warped perception, isn't it? Bastard.
Now I've got all that hate out of my system... Take a huge, deep breath...
These bastards are not worth caring about.
Wow! I feel much better now. Just my luck to run into him twice today. I finally blew up in the LT and that's when I challenged him. I thought he would accept it but he backed off, that coward. I got so pissed I think I frightened Wei Hong... Haha. Ok I won't think about ass holes like that any longer...
Thankfully I managed to catch up with Kai and Wei Shern to take 156 home... Talking to them on the bus really cheered me up from that rotten mood I had from that encounter... Haha... It was so... Relaxing... Just crapping on the bus on the way home. Hahaha! Yup...
Oh well. I've to go study. Just wanted to get all that hate out of my system before my mind gets contaminated. I think I write hate mails really well. Haha...
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
Archangel left silently at ... 4:31 pm
Ooh watched "The Contender" Season Two yesterday... Season One was absolutely fabulous, and Season Two looks like it's gonna be too!
Haha the first thing I noticed was the obvious disappearance of Sylvester Stallone... I have no idea why he's not in the second season... Maybe they wanted a "real" boxer (Sugar Ray Leonard) to be the official host lol... The woman from last season is gone too... Can't remember her name. East and West teams have changed to Gold and Blue teams too.
Haha the guy I rooted for won again. I seem bless whoever I support, from the first season up to now... Cornelius "K9" Bundrage was the last to be picked by the "captains" cos they thought he was very lousy when they saw him in training... Then the ultra cocky captain (Michael Clark) of the gold team was supposed to fight him in the first fight and he was so happy can... He kept on mocking K9, like during the morning run he kept on barking and growling like a dog... Real ass-hole. He seriously thought K9 was going to be a pushover.
Then POW! K9 won the first two rounds, just like that! Fantastic stuff... But Michael Clark, who was rated the best fighter among these 16, was not gonna give up without a fight... And he won the next two rounds... Fighting like his life depended on it... Haha... He just flew in and attacked K9 man, don't know how K9 prevented himself from falling.
Then, in the 5th and final round, K9 KOed Michael. Well... Not exactly KOed, but hit him to the ground. Solid! After that he was a shoo-in to win. Haha...
Lesson learnt? Never judge a book by it's cover. K9 sucked during practice and Michael was whacking the trainer, but when it came to the crunch, K9 was the one who survived. Another lesson learnt? Never mock other people or make fun of them just because you think you're much better than they are... Or it will come back to haunt you... It's called Karma. Haha...
Shoot the study chair just broke! I can't believe it! One moment I'm sitting on the chair the next I'm sitting heavily on the floor. Talk about shoddy construction. I told you, I'm cursed. Apparently Karma works different for me, it's like all the "negative energy" is pumped in place of the "positive energy" and everything that happens to me is bad. I'm serious! Haha. Oh well...
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
Archangel left silently at ... 5:39 pm
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason
'Cos you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl
So cradle your head in your hands
May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it
'Cos you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys
And breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
And these mistakes you've made you'll just make them again
2 AM and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper, it's no longer
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screaming out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand
Woah breathe, just breathe
by New-Blue-Champion
Archangel left silently at ... 4:57 pm
Scoring two goals in after PE soccer really was a great remedy to post VIVA World Cup blues. I think I played much better in that game than in that stupid tournament. I think I learned something after that game, something which I formulated after several games against different opponents.
My game is mostly about dribbling. Whether it's beating people down the flanks or running at opposition defense, if you give me the ball at my feet, I'll show you what I can do. However, this has become stagnant and it's not due to lack of games or practice (although that can be a factor as well), it's largely due to a lack of confidence.
When you come up against an opponent, you do not have much time to plot your next move before he comes in for the tackle. If you spend too much time thinking, the next thing you know, you've lost the ball. This is where confidence comes in. If you're confident you can beat him, you will not have to worry about what your next move is. You just beat him. If you're not, you will usually try to formulate a way to get past him and that will be your downfall.
That is why when most dribblers get the ball, they look at their opponent and attempt to beat him straight away, without considering if they can do it or not. Why do you think the best dribblers in the world are some of the most arrogant, or pure genius? Look at Cristiano Ronaldo, Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho, just to name a few. They brim with confidence everytime they play.
I guess that must be my weakness. I give my opponents too much respect and that's why I always lose out when it comes to the big games. Does that mean I must change my game to be able to play well? That's the question.
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
Archangel left silently at ... 1:37 pm
Since there were so many journalists' "Dream Teams" or "Best XI" in the newspapers, I will publish my own and see how they compare. I bet my team whups all their asses and I'll get hired as a sports columnist in the New Paper. Wahaha!
Goalkeeper : Gianluigi Buffon - Italy
Buffon was instrumental in the Italian's World Cup triumph with his masterful saves and excellent goalkeeping. Of course it helped to have a great defence in front of him but when he was called into action, he never failed to disappoint. He only conceded one goal before the World Cup Final and that was an own goal by Cristian Zaccardo. The other was from an illegitimate penalty by Zinedine Zidane.
Right Back: Gianluca Zambrotta - Italy
It is ironic that the best right back in this tournament is naturally a left back. After Cristian Zaccardo's horrible own goal, Zambrotta was put onto the opposite flank with Fabio Grosso on the left. Zambrotta proved his versatility by having an excellent tournament, and even scored with a clean finish against Ukraine.
Left Back: Philipp Lahm - Germany
Relatively unknown coming into this World Cup, Philipp Lahm shot to world fame in the opening game against Costa Rica when he curled a sweet shot into the top corner of the Costa Ricans' goal, scoring the first goal of the tournament. The right-footed left back then showed he was not a flash in the pan with amazing performances throughout the World Cup. He even played on the right flank in the 3rd-4th placing match against Portugal. Philipp Lahm has a great ability to get forward and join in the attack, providing excellent crosses and the occasional deadly shot.
Centre Back: Fabio Cannavaro - Italy
It has been said many times that the Italians are gifted in the art of defense. With three players (including the goalkeeper) in this defence, it definitely proves the old adage true. Cannavaro, although dimunitive, is a master in the art of defending. He has amazing anticipation and speed, and the ability to stick to a striker and get the ball off him or sheperd him away from the goal, without fouling him. In the seven games that he played, he did not get a single card, yellow or red, and in his 100th game for Italy, the captain of Italy led his team to glory. He is my captain for this team and for me, the player of the tournament.
Centre Back: Ricardo Carvalho - Portugal
Although the centre back has not really made a huge impact with Chelsea in England, his confident displays at the World Cup assured us that he is still one of the world's best. In the fracas against Holland, he marshaled his defence to perfection with only nine men of his team remaining, and prevented the Dutch masters from scoring. An excellent header of the ball, Carvalho can provide impressive aerial power and height for any defence. He is no slouch on the ground as well, being a quick reader of the game and of his opponent's moves.
Right Winger: Franck Ribery - France
The youngest player in France's first team at the age of 23, Franck Ribery burst onto the scene with a huge reputation, and huge boots to fill. Touted as the "next Zidane", Scarface did not fail to disappoint when he was finally put into the starting lineup for the faltering French. The speedy winger scored against Spain with a clinical finish as he rounded Iker Casillas to slot the ball into an empty net, single-handedly hauling France back into the game with the equaliser.
Left Winger: Harry Kewell - Australia
Harry Kewell has been largely overlooked in many of the journalists' Dream Teams or Tournament XIs, but few will doubt his importance to Australia. He only played three games at the World Cup, starting two of them, due to injury. Australia look a much more attacking side with him in the team, and without him, they lost their matches (against Brazil where he was a substitute and against Italy where he was sidelined with an injury). He put Australia on the footballing map with an assured finish against Croatia to seal a 2-2 draw that put them into the round of 16, arguably the greatest moment ever in Australia's footballing history. A tricky winger who can provide deadly crosses and shots from midfield, he is also gifted at set pieces and scores or supplies goals with the occasional free kick or corner.
Central Midfielder: Andrea Pirlo - Italy
Andrea Pirlo is a technically gifted midfielder who can provide a pass as wonderful as that of Zidane's or Riquelme's, or defend as well as Makelele or Hamann. He is actually a very similar player to Xabi Alonso. In fact, he is so good that he should be placed in a class of his own. A midfielder who is the creative force both AC Milan and Italy, he possesses a keen eye for a pass and is also a great shooter of the ball. He is wonderfully gifted at set pieces as well. Elegant and refined are the only ways to describe him.
Central Midfielder: Maxi Rodriguez - Argentina
More consistent than Michael Ballack and more powerful than Maniche, Maxi Rodriguez had a fantastic World Cup where he scored three great goals. One of them will be remembered as a moment of South American samba where 24 passes were construed before Rodriguez slammed the ball into the back of the net, and another one will be remembered as a last-gasp wonder goal against Mexico that sent Argentina into the quarter-finals. Maxi Rodriguez is an industrious attacking midfielder who terrorises defenders and pops up with vital goals for his country and club. Any player who can displace Pablo Aimar from the international team while keeping Lionel Messi on the bench must be some player, and Maxi definitely fits the bill.
Striker: Miroslav Klose - Germany
The striker was widely ridiculed in his previous World Cup in 2002, where he scored all five of his goals with his head, four of them coming against Saudi Arabia. In 2006, he showed us all that he is a force to be reckoned with and is very much a world class striker. Showing impressive dribbling skills and a great chemistry with his strike partner, Lucas Podolski, Klose is an unselfish striker who sets his teammates up if they're in a better position instead of going for glory. He scored a wonderfully headed goal against Argentina in the quarter final to force the game to penalties, which Germany won. Miroslav Klose is the Golden Boot winner of this year's World Cup, with another five goals to his name.
Striker: Fernando Torres - Spain
The 22 year old has been a revelation for yet another underachieving performance by Spain in this year's World Cup. Scoring three goals in his four World Cup games, Torres formed formidable partnerships with whoever he was paired with in attack, be it Raul, David Villa or Luis Garcia. He led Spain's frontline brilliantly and was a menace to every defender who came up against him. The young prodigy has finally made his first step to becoming a world class player.
Substitutes:
Jens Lehmann - Germany (Goalkeeper)
Ricardo - Portugal (Goalkeeper)
Willy Sagnol - France (Right Back)
Fabio Grosso - Italy (Left Back)
Christoph Metzelder - Germany (Centre Back)
Roberto Ayala - Argentina (Centre Back)
Cristiano Ronaldo - Portugal (Right Winger)
Bastian Schweinsteiger - Germany (Left Winger)
Michael Ballack - Germany (Central Midfielder)
Juan Roman Riquelme - Argentina (Central Midfielder)
Thierry Henry - France (Striker)
Lukas Podolski - Germany (Striker)
Waiting List:
Shaka Hislop - Trinidad & Tobago (Goalkeeper)
Lillian Thuram - France (Centre Back)
Javier Mascherano - Argentina (Central Midfielder)
Luca Toni - Italy (Striker)
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
Archangel left silently at ... 6:07 pm
I shall change Nutte to nuttey, after realising what it means..... Oh man ><
Macad_rage left silently at ... 12:12 am
Haha I just decided that if I wanna blog and just crap about my day I'll just name the blog title the date of that particular day...
Wow I just realised how great it is to do all your work (plus near-future work) during the weekend cos during the weekdays when you're so tired when you get back, or because of a crappy day at school, when you get home, you don't feel like doing work at all. Okay actually I could do some work right now but I've got nothing to do. Okay fine, I do have stuff to do, they're just not of immediate importance. Haha. This is probably the first night in a long time where I've gotten back from school without anything of utmost importance to do that I just watched two Grey's Anatomy episodes on my com and am waiting for House to start at 11pm...
Guess what, my mom told me I could go buy new shoes if I want to as long as I get rid of the other two I can't wear anymore! Hahaha. I've been eyeing the adidas blue and white court soccer boots lately... But I don't really want to throw away my two old pairs of boots... Sigh. Dilemma.
Hmmm brought that subject up only cos I remembered I'm going to Queensway with Alvin on Wednesday. Gonna buy some running/exercise pants my stupid RJPE pants are too darned short. I think they shrunk in the wash.
Oh yay we're gonna make jerseys for the VIVA World Cup tournament! I'm gonna get "Archangel" and No. 7! Hahaha. That's if the printer can squeeze all nine letters of "Archangel" onto the back of the shirt... Stupid Neng Yang is so damn conceited... Say "oh sure can score past your keeper" like he's so good like that... Haha. You haven't seen Liang Ze play before he's gonna make you eat your words... I hope they taste bad... I guess Neng Yang's just sore that I rejected joining his team so I could play with my class... Haha. They're better anyway. Hahaha! Oops I'd better not say that otherwise we suddenly lose to his team then I dunno where to put my face liao. Hahaha...
Hey sorry to the guys who wanted me to post reviews of the World Cup matches on the blog... Haven't exactly been following the World Cup because of common tests... Then the matches are always at 3am so I fall asleep halfway... But I'll get back to work as soon as the new Premiership season starts!
Wow I discovered on a Grey's Anatomy episode two WONDERFUL songs... They played "You And Me" by Lifehouse and "High" by James Blunt... Very nice songs... I went to find them online straightaway hahaha.
Hmmm Matilda has got me hooked on to CSI: NY. Hahaha... I think it's pretty good! Watched CSI: Miami too but Matilda said NY was better so... I took her word for it hahaha. Brainsharers after all :P
Oh well... Guess I'll stop here... Gonna watch House, it starts in 15 minutes or so... Hahaha :P
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
Archangel left silently at ... 9:51 pm
http://macadish.blogspot.com/2006/07/another-dream.html
http://macadish.blogspot.com/2006/07/grading-system.html
http://macadish.blogspot.com/2006/07/dream.html
Like always, click on post once there. Works the same as this blog. ;D
Think i will have any more weird dreams???
Macad_rage left silently at ... 7:10 pm
I realised, why i am not close to the guys from my class. A simple birthday present yet a heated 'discussion'.
So what if i feel like sharing the present with other people. After all, i am suppose to know him better, at least at a more personal level. Do feel bad when i see don't see him around sometimes, and many other feelings, thts why i don want to share with the group. In fact, to me, he is not part of the class clique. I would rather see him as tuba and my friend, the 'magic' guys. Then some guy had to make stupid comments about it. Ok fine, so i just let them know i am discussing with someone else (tuba) . Another series of stupid comments appeared. Then i suggested taking a photo. It is definitely meaningful, especially since we'll all part after this year. A photo is definitely sthg to remind him of the happy moments together. Noo, somebody had to make tht idea sound like bad news (News for that somebody, jeff's not the kind of person who will look at photos and think of all the wrong things).
Great, you guys figure it out yourself. You think i care? Can't believe the most decent person in that convo is yuan. Comparing that convo with the one i was having with tuba, one felt like hell, the other heaven, respectively. Don't try to tell me those comments were jokes, because they are not funny. Man am i irritated, with myself for forgetting his bdae, with those pple who don't mean anything they say.
Enough, as touched as i am that i got the watch (thnx to jeff again, and maybe a few others), but im just as irritated by the fact that such kind of things can happen over a bdae presents. Notice that i seldom get agitated over anything. So this is what you people really are... I give up. (leaves convo)
Macad_rage left silently at ... 11:27 pm
Click on 'post' to view
FUN FUN FUN ;D
http://macadish.blogspot.com/2006/07/fun.html
Macad_rage left silently at ... 2:09 am
Profile
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CCA : Raffles Chorale
D.O.B : 21/02/88
Favourites:
-Sport : Football (Liverpool FC)
-Music : Rock/Hip-Hop (Linkin Park, Coldplay)
-Food : Depends on my mood
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D.O.B : 28/05/88
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